bendan

i moved out.. after seeing my agent (exhousemate's agent) at 1130am, then on the way to uni for my transport phenomena tut, i decide.. to move out the very night..
i called to housemate's china phone, she refused to pay the rental.. fine..
i refused to pack her daughter's stuffs, she asked her friends to pack.. cool..
i made decisions all by myself.. under the stress and wanting to get out of all the mess immediately, i suddenly forgotten..
I SHOULD HAVE CALLED MOM..

so i made stupid decisions..

and now i regret..

mom called, and asked me why didn't I consult them before moving out..

i don't know, i thought i could handle it all by myself..

but look, i'm all in a mess, i dono where to go to within this month.. i have so many things to finish, i'm holding a lot of responsibilities.. i lost myself, i lost my time, i lost planning when my route was suddenly diverted, and so the only thing i could do is - to cry..

I failed to make the right decisions. I failed to weigh the pros and cons. I failed.

There's too many things going on my mind now, that, I can't remember what I am talking about, what I am supposed to do, what I wanted to say.. I was a good listener, but now i am an excessive whiner, crybaby..

ah well.. waiting for the rainbow after the rain..

after a month...

yes.. just a month...

a life as a tramp, where conveniences become inconvenient, where I learn to.. hate myself more, for being unable to grow up.

sorry sis, i can't overcome my "blurness"..

living in a daze..

headaching everyday.. sprained my foot the other day, now its swollen, sigh..
pain radiating from my left hip was unbearable.. but all's alright after a good night sleep..

i wan.. to be happy again.. to live stress-free..

because
I cant handle stress..

hmm, maybe i should see a phsychologist? or stress management course??